Emotional Inner Jouney - 3rd Entry

The Truth Hurts – Entry 3

Pakistan 2001 -

- Rahim Khan

Times are not going to good here in Pakistan. The Taliban have invaded our country. They have taken the rights from almost every citizen. Many innocent people are getting killed every day.  Unfortunately two of those innocent citizens were close with me and Amir. Hassan and his wife were both shot in the head by Taliban soldiers. There son Soharab is now in a a orphanage since he has nobody else to live with. I thought it was the appropriate time to call Amir and tell him the news.  I had not spoken to Amir is many, many years since he has been starting a family in San Francisco. At first I was very nervous to call Amir since we have not talked in a while and I was not sure how he was doing. But at the same time I was very happy  hear Amir's voice. I called Amir and he immediately recognized my voice, and he knew it was me on the other line. I told Amir "Come home Amir Jan...I know it is not the best time." Amir sounded worried and concerned why I should be coming home. Before I hung up the phone on Amir, I gave him one last message to think about. That was message "There is a way to be good again".  I was expecting Amir to come to visit me in Pakistan a week later, and sure enough he did just that. Amir appeared at my door at a total surprise and it was amazing for me to see him again. We talked and caught up for a little bit. Amir showed me his novel that he had gotten published. The book was dedicated to me and for what I have done for Amir.  I handed Amir a letter that Hassan had recently wrote about his life, family, children and his memories. Hassan ended off the letter by saying to Amir that: "I dream that someday you will return to Kabul to revisit the land of our childhood. If you do, you will find an old faithful friend waiting for you."  The mood was very good until I had to break the news to Amir that his best friend Hassan, and his wife Farzana were both innocent and were shot and killed just a couple of days ago. Amir did not take the news well, but just like any other journey and conflict that Amir had ran into during his childhood, I would help him get through this tough emotional journey. I told Amir that " He needed to rescue Soharab, his nephew and bring him back to America." Amir was very shocked and confused, but it was the truth. Baba had lied to Hassan and Amir their whole lives. Hassan was actually Amir's younger brother. I comforted Amir for the night and I helped him emotionally get over his losses. Amir had just left for Kabul, just a couple of hours ago, and I am patiently waiting for his return.

 San Francisco, June  2001

- Amir

It was a special day for me. I had just gotten my new book published. It was all thanks to Rahim Khan who was a big part of my life, who helped me overcome lots of journeys, and who gave me courage and confidence to follow my dreams which was to become a writer. He was like the father that I sort of did not have.  Ironically, the phone was ringing. I went over to answer the phone. It was Rahim Khan who I had no heard from in ages who I was just thinking about! Rahim did not sound very healthy, but just hearing his voice made me happy. Rahim told me that now would be a good time to come home to see him. I did not understand why. I told Rahim "Maybe now is not such a good time". Before Rahim hung up the phone on me, he said the following things to me "There is a way to make things good again." I had to go to visit Rahim. I packed my bags, and traveled to see Rahim in Pakistan. Rahim was still the same man when I saw him last, he had just aged. I started off  by showing Rahim my book that I published, and I told him "that is was all because of him" and that I could not thank him enough. Then, a sudden turn of events occurred. Rahim told me the news that Hassan and his wife Farzana had both been killed, and that I needed to go find my nephew Soharab. Baba lied to us our whole childhood. Hassan and I were not only best friends, but we were brothers. I was so frustrated, confused and mad that I could not think straight. I was very emotional, but who could blame me? Once again Rahim came to the rescue and helped me overcome my tough emotional phase and convinced me to go find Soharab and bring him back to America.

Outer Journey - 2nd Entry

Special Night 

Late August , summer of 1976 

- Rahim Khan

What a lovely night! One of the better ones of the summer  Summer of 1976. It was a special night. It was Amir’s thirteenth birthday. Baba was very nice enough to throw a big party for Amir. Over four hundred people were invited. The music was loud, lots of food was being served,people were dancing, drinking, and celebrating young Amir finally becoming a teenager and a young man. It was his special night. As I was having a drink, I wanted to go find Amir to talk to him. He was no where to be found, but as I walked around the courtyard I noticed that a gate had been opened.  I walked outside the party to find the birthday boy sitting by himself. Although it did not seem like he was all that happy.  I immediately sensed that something was really bothering Amir and I did not know why. Amir is like my son that I never had so I felt like it was my duty to cheer him up and help him over this outer journey.  I started off our conversation by trying to make Amir laugh and smile. I said to Amir: " Did I ever tell you that I almost got married once?" Amir laughed and smiled, my planned worked. I wanted to help Amir and show him that I am here for him. I looked him in the eye and told him: “You know, you can tell me anything you want, Amir jan. Anytime." I wanted to leave him with that final quote to show that I cared for him. I then gave him my present. I knew Amir loved to fantasize and write stories. Amir always used to show me his stories and to be honest they were very interesting to read. I gave Amir a brown leather-bound notebook that had gold-colored stitching on the borders.  I told him “ It is for your stories". Amir's eyes light up when I gave him his gift. I saved Amir's night and got him over whatever outer conflict that he had.

Summer of 1976

- Amir

I was hoping that when I turned thirteen years old, I would feel happier, and I hope that my best friend Hassan would be back to normal again.  The first day of being thirteen started off pretty good since Baba and I seemed to be getting along and back to normal. But as the day went on, my birthday was not one to remember. I wish I could go back and be twelve again. Baba had invited four hundred people to my party.  Servants that Half of them I did not know. "I kissed hundreds of cheeks, hugged total strangers, thanked them for their gifts..My face ached from the strain of my plastered smile.  Servants that served drinks and food, music was constantly playing it was very tiring for me. I also received a happy birthday wish and gift from Assef who was the person that I feared the most.  Baba loved Assef as they starting talking a lot to each other. Only if Baba knew who Assef really was. He was the last person that I wanted to see on my birthday. I was really upset as I did not even get to talk to my best friend Hassan on my birthday, instead I was forced to talk to my biggest enemy. I had enough and I decided to go for a walk as I did not want to talk to anybody else. I opened the gate from the yard and went outside, sat against a wall, looked up into the stars thinking what a terrible last couple months I was having, and what a terrible birthday I was having! Next thing you know, one of  God's (Allah's) guardian servants came out of no where to come talk and comfort me. It was Rahim Khan. Rahim had always been there for me and was much more a father then Baba was. Rahim comforted me and told me a story on how he almost got married once. For the first time of the night I actually smiled and laughed. Rahim followed up his story by telling me: “You know, you can tell me anything you want, Amir jan. Anytime." Finally somebody I could talk to me and seemed to care for me. "For a moment, I almost did tell him. Almost told him everything, but then what would he think of me? He’d hate me, and rightfully." Rahim then gave me his gift. "It was a brown leather-bound notebook. I traced my fingers along the gold-colored stitching on the borders. I smelled the leather." “For your stories,” he said. Rahim always read my stories and he always gave me positive feedback on them. He believed that one day I could be a successful and famous writer. Turns out my birthday was not so bad after all, I had Rahim who helped me overcome my outer journey by making me happy, and thankful to have people like him in my life. Being thirteen was not bad at all.

Physical Journey – 1st Entry

Our Son Amir

Early Summer , 1976 - Kabul, Afghanistan 


- Rahim Khan 

It was a normal sunny day in Kabul, the sun was shining, the kids were running around flying their kites and the market inside the city was full of people as usual. The day passed, and after a long day Baba and myself had a chat in Baba's study room. I sat down and started to converse with Baba. During our conversation, the usual rant and topic of Amir came up. I believed that deep down inside Baba loved Amir and wanted the best for him, but at the same time he always complained how Amir was not the greatest son and that he was a coward and that he would not stick up for anything and anybody.  Baba said that "There is something missing in that boy" and that  “a boy who won’t stand up for himself becomes a man who can’t stand up to anything."  I laughed at what Baba had to say I was used to it. I defended Amir by replying to Baba's comment by saying “Children aren’t coloring books. You don’t get to fill them with your favorite colors.” I also said that "you just need to let him find his way, because he will." Amir is a very bright, good and polite kid and  I believe that one day he would have great success. He just needs time to become come comfortable with himself and be raised by the right people. At the moment in time though, it it is hard for Amir because his father Baba always brings him down, does not have enough faith and support in his own son and mis treats him I wish Amir the best as he is like a son to me that I never had. So I figure that I need to help Baba be a good parent act like Amir's father for his childhood. I will get Baba and Amir through this physical journey. I figure that this wont be to difficult since I have always understood Amir, and he always understood me. We had a special connection. Even Baba said: “Look, I know there’s a fondness between you and him and I’m happy about that. Envious, but happy. I mean that."


Early Summer , 1976 - Kabul, Afghanistan 


- Baba

I love my son Amir and he is the only thing that I have left since my wife has passed away giving birth to him. I wish to see Amir just like myself be a well respect business man around Kabul.  My only concern is that Amir is not like the other children. Having a chat with Rahim Khan I stated that Amir is " always buried in those books or shuffling around the house like he’s lost in some dream.” I do not know what to do with Amir. I was not like that at all . “Sometimes I look out this window and I see him playing on the street with the neighborhood boys. I see how they push him around, take his toys from him, give him a shove here, a whack there. And, you know, he never fights back. Never. He just... drops his head and...”Amir is a coward and like I told Rahim Khan before “A boy who won’t stand up for himself becomes a man who can’t stand up to anything." I do not want Amir to grow up a coward because he will not be successful. I trouble Rahim Khan about Amir because I want the best for my son, and I believe with the help of Rahim Khan that Amir will overcome this physical stage, and I will overcome these physical troubles.